A revision to the African proverb Roosevelt borrowed: “Walk lavishly and carry on foot a big unusual shoe.” It’s just waiting to be attributed to Lady Gaga.

The Madonna protégé certainly lives it, having strutted stages in Alexander McQueen Armadillo heels (shown above) and many a custom, nine-inch heelless Noritaka Tatehana platform. Say we were to play imaginary personal shoe shopper to the pop star, these strangely beautiful pairs, one somewhat more practical than the other, would surely be bought.

Admittedly more objet d’art than functioning footwear, Aoi Kotsuhiroi 7.7. inch, one-of-a-kind heel made of lacquered cherry wood from her Exotic Regrets collection.

For something slightly easier to maneuver on cobblestone streets, Joachim de Callatay wooden wedge shoes, one chiseled and carved, the other packed and stacked (having taken inspiration from traditional Japanese home building).

If the shoe fits (and looks fantastical) wear it. Good luck packing these skyscrapers.